


Between the Lies

by Silvaimagery



Category: Wreckers (2011)
Genre: AU, Adultery, Anger, Deceit, Drama, F/M, Incest, Jealousy, Lies, Love, M/M, PTSD, Partner Betrayal, Possessiveness, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-03
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 16:44:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2395529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvaimagery/pseuds/Silvaimagery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His brother always had a way of making things better and worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just couldn’t resist.

I catch sight of the one person I did not expect to ever see again.

“Bloody fucking hell.” I whisper.

My briefcase drops from my hand.

Nick comes towards me.

I close the gap between us.

The press of his body against mine is familiar even after all this time.

I hold him close.

I grab his neck and pull him away so that I can take a look at him.

I blink away my tears.

He laughs and shakes his head as he looks me over.

“Been in the sun?” I ask.

He smiles and look at Dawn.

I look at my wife standing there watching us.

“I tried to call.” She says.

I look back at my brother, cataloguing every new line on his face.

Every new shadow in his gaze.

“How the fuck did you know I’d be here?” 

“Dog returns to its shit.” He says.

I hug him again.

“He’s not very refined.” I tell Dawn.

I rest my forehead against his resisting the urge to kiss him.

“So, what do you think?” I ask turning to show him the old house.

“It’s lovely.” He says.

“Yeah. It will be beautiful.” I tell him.

He agrees.

I look at Dawn.

I had never told her about my life before I met her.

It didn’t seem important.

Nick had enrolled in the army when he was nineteen and I seriously had never expected to see him.

Nick’s presence complicated things.

Not that I didn’t want him here with me.

I had always wanted him here.

I pull my brother into the house, Dawn following behind.

“Have you been shown to your room?” I ask.

“Yeah.” He says.

“He’s going to be in the room right down the hall from ours.” Dawn says.

I nod.

“Need help unpacking?” I ask.

He glances at Dawn before looking at me.

I stare at him.

He shrugs.

“Sure.”

“Be right back.” I tell Dawn.

“I’ll get dinner started.”

I nod before following my brother up the stairs.

I push him into his room and press him against the wall.

I cup his face.

This was wrong.

We could have a new start with an actual sibling relationship.

A normal one.

But he was the one thing I had never been able to repress.

His hands curl around my arms.

He had always been the one that made me insane.

The one that made me yearn to protect him.

I press my lips against his roughly.

His hands curl around my shoulders.

“I missed you.” He whimpers.

I kiss him until I can’t breathe.

I release him and move away.

I touch my lips.

I can feel him watching me.

I move towards the bed.

“Is this all you brought with you?” I ask opening the black duffel bag.

“Yeah.”

“Might need to get you some new things.”

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary. I only brought what I needed for my leave.”

“Still. Can’t have you parading around in rags.”

He laughs quietly.

“It’s not like I’ve got any fancy places to be.”

I look at him.

“I have missed you too.” I tell him quietly.

He nods.

“Does Dawn….?”

“No.”

“Right.”

He walks closer as I start to pull out his clothes from his bag.

A packet of photographs catches my attention.

He grabs the things I’ve pulled out and moves to put them away in the old dresser.

I take out the few photographs in the envelope.

There is one of the two of us.

I stare down at it for a long moment before looking at the other photos.

One of him and another man catches my attention.

They were smiling at the camera, their arms around each other.

I swallow down my anger.

“Who is this?” I ask.

He moves closer to look at the picture.

“Oh. That’s my mate Brian.”

“Brian.”

“Yeah. He’s in my regiment.”

“Hmm.”

He looks at me.

“David.” He says touching my arm.

I put the pictures back into the packet.

“A good friend?”

“Yeah. He’s a good man. He has a wife and two kids.”

I stare back at him.

“When you finish putting things away, come down.”

“Alright.”

I let our arms brush together as I move away.

I leave the room.

I take a few deep breaths as I walk down the stairs.

I didn’t need my anger issues getting between us again.

“There you are.” Dawn says.

“Yeah.”

I wash my hands and help her finish preparing dinner.

Nick comes down moments later.

He stands in the doorway watching us.

“She’s changed you.” He says. “She’s made you posh.”

I look at him.

“A lot of things have changed since you’ve been gone.”

“Seems just like the old times to me.”

We stare at each other.

“Nick. Could you open the bottle of wine?” Dawn asks.

“Sure.” He grabs the bottle of wine and moves to the dining room.

“You alright?” Dawn asks.

“Fine.”

“Okay.” She smiles.

I look back towards the doorway before finishing what I was doing.


	2. Chapter 2

Once Dawn is asleep, I get up.

I move quietly towards my brother’s room.

I enter his room and close the door quietly behind me.

He looks at me.

“I thought you were sleeping?” He says putting down the book he was reading.

I spot Grandmother’s old music box on his nightstand.

“No.” I say.

“Dawn?” 

“Asleep.”

He nods.

“You okay?”

“I can’t sleep.” He says with a small smile.

“Maybe I can help.”

“You always did before.”

I move towards the bed.

He scoots to make room.

I sit against the headboard.

He curls on his side, his head resting against my chest.

I put an arm around him.

He holds my hand.

“Are you really going to live here?”

“Yes.”

“Why? We couldn’t wait to get away before.”

“I want this house to mean something different, something good.”

“It can’t. It’s too full of hate and anger.”

“It’s just a house. It’s people who turn a home into a nightmare.”

He laughs against me.

“What?” I ask.

He lifts his head to look at me.

“Are you really different?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s like you’re so positive. The David I remember used to get into fights and was not always so nice to be around.”

“I was always nice to you.” I say caressing his face.

“Except when you were in a mood. Then you made me walk into the lake while I sleep walked. Or you’d let Gary beat me up.”

I clench my teeth together.

“I always made him pay for that.” I tell him.

“I guess we all have our moments. I can’t blame you for having bad days. You always did save me from dad and then from mom.”

I caress my hand down his back where I knew his skin still had the marks that woman left on him before I could stop her.

He lays his head back down on my chest.

“You should go to sleep.”

“So should you. You’re the one that’s got to work in the morning.”

“Hmm.”

I turn off the lamp.

He yawns.

“You should go back before she notices you’re gone.”

“In a minute.”

“We don’t have to keep doing this. I understand that you have a different life now. Besides, you’re married. And Dawn, she’s a good woman. I like her.”

“Are you saying you don’t want me anymore?”

“I’ll always want you.”

I tighten my hand in his hair.

He looks at me.

I push him onto his back before leaning over him.

His arms encircle my shoulders.

“I love you.” He whispers.

“I know.”

I kiss him.

I move my thigh between his legs.

Our bodies sure seem to remember the rhythm.

He bites his lip to keep from moaning.

I kiss his neck.

“David.” He says quietly.

“Shh.”

I kiss him again and again.

I feel him come against my thigh.

I move against him seeking my own release.

I press my lips together as I come.

I roll onto my side.

He turns his head to look at me.

“Get some sleep.” I say standing.

I leave his room.

I pad to the bathroom to change my pajama bottoms.

I crawl back into bed next to Dawn.

She doesn’t even wake with the movement.

I roll to my side, my back to her and close my eyes.

***********************

I watch Nick paint the wall.

His muscles flexing under his t-shirt.

I can hear Dawn outside.

I move further into the room.

“You’re doing wrong.” I say.

He turns to look at me.

“How would you know?”

I smile.

“I just do.”

“Yeah right.”

He goes back to painting.

“Let me show you.”

I take the roller from him.

“Alright then teacher. Teach.”

I put the roller down and grab him.

“What…?”

“Quiet.”

I kiss him.

“Mmm.”

I push him onto the floor.

He pulls me closer.

I touch his waist.

He runs his hands through my hair.

I hear Dawn come into the house.

I push myself off the floor.

Nick lays there panting.

He looks up at me.

“Well? Come on.” I urge.

I hold out my hand to him.

He takes it.

I pull him to his feet.

I fix my hair while he dusts himself off.

I can hear Dawn coming up the stairs.

I hand Nick the roller.

“Wow. You are almost done with this room. Thank you so much for helping Nick. Don’t know if David would have had the time to finish all this on his own.” Dawn says coming into the room.

“Yeah. Thanks.” He says.

“David? Are you helping him?”

I look at Dawn.

“I was just showing him the correct way.”

“Yeah. Like that helps me at all.” Nick snorts.

I glance at him.

“Well come on you two. Go get washed up while I prepare supper.”

I nod at her.

She goes back down the stairs.

“Helping me indeed. You are a distraction.” Nick says walking past me.

I pull him back.

“I didn’t hear you complaining.” I say pulling him close.

He squirms out of my arms.

“Don’t start anything you can’t finish.”

I smile.

“I used to tell you that.”

“Yeah, well. Now I’m saying it to you.”

I watch him leave the room.

I look at the freshly painted room.

“I know you did the best you could but it still looks like shit!” I shout at him.

“Fuck off!” He shouts back.

I chuckle.

“Leave him alone David!” Dawn shouts at me.

If only she knew how impossible it was for me to leave Nick alone.

I turn and walk out of the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a short five chapter story line that has now somehow doubled in size.

“Where did you get this?”

I take the candy bracelet from the bed post.

“Nick gave it to me.”

“Hmm.”

“He stole it from the shop.”

I smile.

“No surprise there.”

“Tell me about your day.”

I bite a piece of candy off.

“One of my students is cutting herself.”

“How do you know?”

“She told me. It’s a shame, she’s such a bright girl.” I sigh.

“David.”

I look at her.

She looks alarmed.

Don’t know why.

My student wasn’t the first or the last to cut herself for attention.

“You have to report it.”

“Hmm.”

“You have to tell someone, it’s the law.”

“Who? Social Services and their mixed bag? She trusts me.”

As far as I know, I’m the only who she’s ever told.

“I…I don’t know how you can take it all so casually. If one of my students was having problems I wouldn’t just sweep it under the rug. I’d do all I could to help them.”

I chuckle.

“For all the good it would do you. You can’t save everybody Dawn.”

“I really don’t know you do I?”

I look at her.

“I guess you don’t.”

She stares at me for a moment before turning her back.

***********************

I grab Nick around the neck.

He pushes me off.

I try tackling him but he’s fast on his feet.

I chuckle.

He smiles at me.

I lunge for him again.

He climbs onto my back.

He laughs as I bend forward to keep him from falling off.

I grab his legs and carry him outside.

I let him fall onto the grass.

“You wanker!”

I laugh.

I go back inside to hurry Dawn up.

She had made an appointment to meet Gary and Sharon down at the pub.

Don’t know why.

I never liked Gary.

He was an asshole.

And he had always hated Nick.

Sharon I also knew from school.

She was a tart.

She’d open her legs to anyone who was willing.

It’s the way she was then and it looked like she was still that way.

Once a slut, always a slut I suppose.

She has also always had a thing for Nick.

Unlike Gary though, she didn’t want to beat him to a pulp.

Quite the opposite actually.

The ambiance at the pub was as I expected.

Gary kept throwing jabs at Nick and Nick kept brushing them off.

I just wish he’s stand up to that bastard.

“You remember that one time you held my head underwater until I almost choked?” Nick asks Gary.

“What?” Dawn asks.

Sharon and Gary laugh.

I take a sip of my pint to keep myself from saying anything.

“Where was David?” Dawn asks.

“Don’t know, somewhere else.” Nick says.

I clench my hands.

The three of them continue chatting.

I stare at Nick.

I couldn’t be held responsible for everything that happened to him.

I had done my best.

I drink the rest of my pint.

I stand and go to the bar.

After a moment, Dawn comes over.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me your dad used to beat you?”

I look at her.

Nick would never tell her.

So she had heard it from someone else.

Why couldn’t people just mind their own goddamn business and let the past stay in the past?

“I don’t want to talk about it here.”

She stares at me.

The bartender comes back and I order myself another drink.

**********************

I watch my brother rush past me towards the stage dressed in Dawn’s shirt.

What the hell did he think he was doing?

I’m sure he thought he was being hilarious.

But I sure as hell wasn’t laughing.

He had dressed as a girl before when we were younger.

When we had started shagging.

I had made it perfectly clear then that if I wanted to fuck a girl, I’d go and find myself one.

Now apparently he was just looking for a way to piss me off.

He and Dawn continue to make a fool of themselves on the stage.

I turn away and drain the last of my beer.

I walk out of the bar.

I needed air before I said things I’d regret.

Dawn and Nick come out fifteen minutes later, wearing their own clothes thankfully.

We walk home.

Half way back home, Nick starts having a flashback.

Dawn moves to help him but I can’t trust Nick not to become violent.

I hold her back.

I move towards my brother.

He starts shouting, not really making sense.

I grab his face.

“Look at me. Nick, look at me.”

He does as told.

I touch the back of his neck.

“It’s alright, you aren’t there anymore.”

He nods.

I hug him.

He tightens his arms around me.

He shivers against me.

I kiss his jaw.

He buries his face in my neck.

Dawn stares at us.

I ignore her.


	4. Chapter 4

I help Nick get into bed.

He sniffs and wipes his eyes.

I sit next to him and touch his head.

He grabs my arm.

“I’m sorry.” He says.

“Don’t worry about it.” I say quietly.

He clenches his eyes closed.

“Nick.”

He opens his eyes to look at me.

“You’re alright now. You’re safe.”

He nods.

I move to stand.

He holds on tighter to my arm.

“Don’t.” I tell him.

He tries to pull me down onto the bed.

“Don’t.” I say more forcefully.

He looks up at me.

“Stay with me. Please.”

“I can’t.”

“Please.” He whispers brokenly.

Don’t.

Don’t.

I look at Dawn who is standing in the doorway.

Say something!

She wipes her eyes and looks at me.

She nods.

“He needs you.” She whispers.

I close my eyes for a moment.

“Alright. Move over.”

I take off my jacket and my shoes.

I hear Dawn leave.

She had no idea what kind of fire she was playing with.

I slide into the bed next to Nick.

I put my arms around him.

He sighs and snuggles in close.

I close my eyes.

“I need you.”

“You always need me.”

“That’s true. But you were the only one who ever helped me.”

“You’re my brother. And like you said, we only had each other.”

“Thank you for always being there.”

“Well, I wasn’t always there. Apparently.”

“What?”

He looks at me.

“Nothing. Forget it.”

“Is this because of what I said earlier?”

“Why didn’t you ever stand up to him?”

He lays his head back on my chest.

“Gary? He’s all talk. You know that.”

“Still. You shouldn’t let him walk all over you.”

“Fine. Next time he says something mean to me, I will punch him in the mouth. Happy?”

I smile.

“A little.”

He chuckles.

“Now go to sleep.” I kiss his head.

I wait fifteen minutes after he falls asleep before leaving his room.

I walk into Dawn’s and my bedroom.

It’s no surprise that she’s still awake.

I change in to my pajamas and sit on the bed.

“Is he okay?” She asks.

I shake my head.

There was something wrong with my brother.

Something that hadn’t been there before.

I lean forward and rest my elbows against my thighs.

Nick needed more than I could give at the moment.

I sigh.

Dawn touches my back and hugs me.

I lean back.

She kisses my shoulder.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about your father?”

“I don’t like to think about him. I just…I hate him and I can’t help but feel rage whenever I think about him, so I try not to.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Didn’t stop him from beating me.”

“It’s no surprise that you and Nick are so close.”

I look at her.

“He’s my brother.”

“He seems very….attached to you.”

I decide not to say anything.

“Has he always been like that?”

“Like what?”

“So needy.”

I shrug.

“Our mother never seemed to care. The only mothering we got was from our grandmother.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know. But I still feel sorry for the two of you. No kid should have to grow up in that kind of environment.”

“Thank you.”

“You always seem to know what your brother needs.”

“I just hug him until he crawls back from whatever memory he is lost in.”

“Show me.”

She crawls into my lap and I put my arms around her.

It wasn’t the same.

She wasn’t clinging to me like she needed me.

Not the way Nick always did.

I guess I was used to having his arms around me more than I was to Dawn’s.

I hold her for a long moment before we lie down.

I fall asleep almost instantaneously.

********************

“Tell me.”

“Nick took me to see the old farm.”

“Hmm.”

“How come you never took me there? It’s just right down the way.”

“What for? The place is in shambles. Besides, it’s not like there is anything spectacular for you to see there.”

“It’s still a part of your childhood.”

I shrug.

“Like I said, I try not to think about my past.”

Not if it didn’t involve Nick.

“Maybe once Nick finishes his tour of duty, he can fix it up and live there.”

“You’ll have to ask him that.”

I would love it if my brother lived close.

I could see him whenever I wanted.

Of course, if Dawn was ever to find out about my relationship with Nick. Well, she wouldn’t want him so close.

“I was thinking that maybe he should see someone.”

“Like who?”

“A psychiatrist.”

I snort.

“What?” She asks.

“He’s fine.”

“No, he’s not. He has nightmares and flashbacks.”

“I think it’s the house.”

“The house?”

“It’s hard to forget what happened here.”

“So you think it was a bad idea letting him stay?”

“No. He needs to work through his issues.”

“But if it’s doing more harm than good then maybe it’s time that he….”

“He has to stand up to his demons some time Dawn.”

“Hypocritical of you isn’t it?”

I glare at her.

“You can’t force your brother to face his demons when you haven’t.”

“I am doing it my way. I didn’t have anyone to comfort me. Nick knows I am here for him.”

“Maybe the two of you should speak with the psychiatrist.”

I roll onto my side, my back to her.

“David.”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“We should try to help your brother.”

“Since when do you care so much about him?”

“He’s your brother and he means a lot to you. Of course I care about him.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just tired.”

She snuggles in behind me.

“I know. Get some sleep.”

She puts her arm over my waist.

I take her hand in mine.


	5. Chapter 5

I come home to find Dawn and Nick working in the garden.

I watch them for a moment.

They seemed comfortable with each other.

Too comfortable for two completely different individuals who just met a week ago.

I clench my hands together.

Something dark uncurls in my chest.

I should be glad that they are getting along.

But I am not.

They laugh and bump their shoulders together.

I go into the house.

I throw my briefcase into a corner of the closet before tearing off my jacket.

Nick comes in a few minutes later.

I glare at him.

He ignores it.

I step out of my shoes.

“Hey.” He says reclining against the door jam.

I take off my tie.

“How was your day?”

“Not as good as yours apparently.” 

I remove my shirt and slacks before putting on some jeans and a t-shirt.

“What?” He smiles.

I purse my lips together and throw my dirty clothes into the hamper.

I brush past him.

“David?”

He follows me.

I turn to look at him.

“You seem to be getting along with Dawn.”

“Yeah. She’s a good woman. I told you that already.”

“How much do you like her?”

He chuckles.

“What?”

“I am being serious.”

“So am I. Exactly what are you asking me here David?”

“I think you know perfectly well what I’m asking.”

“You think that I…I wouldn’t do that.”

“You sure?”

“David. What the fuck? Why would I…you married her. Obviously you chose her for a reason.”

“Yes. But there is also the problem of you and me.”

“It doesn’t have to be a problem. I told you we didn’t have to and you insisted.”

“Like you put up a big fight. Admit it. You wanted it as much as I did.”

“As if you didn’t know that already. What is this really about?”

“Maybe you coming here wasn’t such a good idea.”

He looks shocked for a moment.

“You’re my brother, I wanted to see you.”

“You knew it wasn’t just going to be a visit between brothers.”

He shakes his head.

“There is something wrong with you.”

“You’re on to talk!”

He walks out.

“Nick?” I hear Dawn ask.

The door slams shut a moment later.

I slam my fist against the wall.

I never learned. 

I always thought making Nick feel bad would somehow make me feel better.

It never did.

I walk down the stairs.

“David?” Dawn asks.

“Hmm?”

“What just happened? Nick just stormed out of here.”

“Don’t know. He likes to throw fits sometimes. You hungry?”

“Uh. Yeah. I’ll help you.”

I didn’t see my brother for the rest of the afternoon.

The next morning I found him painting the other bedroom.

He glances at me over his shoulder before going back to what he was doing.

“Dawn told me that I should talk to a psychiatrist.”

Damn her.

“I was thinking that maybe you need it more than I do.”

I clench my teeth together.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I think you might have a few screws loose. Maybe you always have, I just hadn’t noticed. We haven’t seen each other for a long time. And you know that people always say that time has a way of changing a person.”

“Don’t pretend that out of the two of us, I’m the one that’s fucked up. I’m not the one who wakes up screaming in the middle of the night!”

He throws down the roller and comes over to stand in front of me.

“At least I tried to do something good with my life! You came back to this shit hole for whatever fucked up reason. I’m sure it all makes sense in your messed up brain.”

“Shut up.”

“And Dawn. She doesn’t deserve to live in a house that hate built! She is a good woman and she deserves more.”

“More than me you mean.”

“I wasn’t going to say it but if you want me to be honest then fine. She deserves better than you!”

I kick a box out of the way.

“What the hell do you know Nick? You always run away when things go to shit.”

“At least I know when to get out.”

“I seem to recall you always waiting for me to come and save you! Do you remember that?”

“Much help that did. You were only there when it was convenient for you. When you thought you were going to get something out it! I never should have let you fuck me.”

“Oh come off it! You were practically begging for it you bed wetter!”

He throws the lid he had taken off of the pain bucket at me.

It smears the front of my shirt with paint.

“You wanker!” I shout before lunging at him.

He punches me in the stomach.

I kick his legs out from under him and throw him onto the floor.

“Stop it! Stop!” Dawn cries.

She tries prying us apart but I can’t see anything but Nick’s angry face.

I punch him in the jaw and he punches me in the mouth.

I can taste blood.

Dawn throws ice cold water on us.

I gasp.

Nick scrambles out from under me.

“I’m sorry Dawn.” He says before hurrying out of the room.

“Nick!” I shout. “NICK!”

I get up to go after him.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Dawn asks me.

I stop and look at her.

“I really don’t know who you are do I? Nick told me you used to get into fights before with other people. I just couldn’t believe it, it wasn’t who I thought you were. I guess I was wrong.”

I take a few deep breaths.

“I’m sorry. He just has a way of getting to me.”

“Getting to you? What is really going on between you and Nick?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not stupid David.”

Goddamn it.

“Nothing is going on.”

“Are you lying to me again? I can’t even tell. How long did it take you to perfect your poker face?”

“I am not lying to you!”

“Don’t shout at me.”

“I am sorry.”

“It’s not me you should be apologizing to.”

She walks out.

I kick the paint cans.

I curl my hands into my hair.

It wouldn’t be long now before my past really caught up with my current life.

Nick always had a way of making things worse.

And damn if it didn’t make me want him more.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning I buy Dawn some flowers while I’m in town.

Nick hadn’t come home again.

I thought maybe I would see him around town but it had been useless.

He was good at hiding when he ran away.

I used to be able to find him.

Now I didn’t seem able to do anything right.

I drive home.

I find Dawn alone in the kitchen preparing lunch.

I present her with the flowers.

“You Johnson boys really are the same.” She says.

She nods at the vase filled with wild flowers.

My heart beats quicker.

“Nick?”

She nods.

“Yeah.”

I hand her the flowers.

She accepts them with a small smile.

“I really am sorry.”

“Thank you.”

I give her a hug and a kiss.

She grabs another vase.

I watch her arrange the flowers for a moment.

“Is he here?”

“No. He came by to give me flowers and then he left again.”

“Did he say where he was going?”

“No.”

I card a hand through my hair.

“Let me take you out to dinner.”

“What about Nick?”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine. Besides, I feel bad that I won’t be able to come and hear you sing tomorrow night.”

“Alright.”

“It’s a date then.”

She smiles.

***********************

I follow Dawn up the stairs, ignoring my need to check and see if Nick was in his room.

I close the door to our room and grab Dawn around the waist.

I kiss her and press her soft body against mine.

I help her out of her dress.

I run my hands down her naked thighs.

She sighs.

I take off my shirt.

She runs her hands over my chest.

I bend to kiss her again.

I walk her back towards the bed and lay her down on it.

I let some of my weight press her down onto the mattress.

Her legs twine around my hips.

I unhook her bra and bend my head to tease her nipple with my tongue before taking it in my mouth.

She moans and writhes against me.

I reach down and touch her over her panties.

“David.” She whispers.

I look at her.

“Come on.” She tugs me up into a kiss.

“What?” I ask.

“Make love to me.”

“I thought you wanted me to-”

“No. I just….I want us to make a baby.”

I press my lips together.

I couldn’t understand why she was so desperate to have a kid.

I knew that soon she’d find out about one of the secrets I was keeping from her.

But then that was her own fault for insisting that we see a doctor.

“Fine.”

I unzip my trousers and push down my pants.

I remove her panties before pushing into her.

She gasps.

If this was what she wanted then she could damn well take it.

I move into her seeking my own release.

She tightens her legs around me.

I groan.

It wasn’t the same but it was still good enough.

She moans as I move faster.

I feel her come, her muscles clenching down around me.

I gasp.

“Oh yes.” I pant.

“Mmm.” She moans.

I come inside of her.

She caresses my back.

I catch my breath before rolling off of her.

I kick my trousers and my pants off.

She rolls onto her side towards me.

I turn to look at her.

“I really want a baby.” She whispers.

I sigh.

“Soon.” I lie.

We lie there dozing before I get up to put my pajama bottoms on.

She wakes after a while and puts her pajamas on as well.

We climb in under the covers.

I was just starting to fall asleep when breaking glass reaches my ears.

I get up in a hurry and run down the stairs.

Nick was in the kitchen breaking the dishes.

He glares at me.

I sweep the rest of the dishes off the counter.

I hear Dawn gasp.

“Are you awake yet?” I scream at him.

“You know you can’t have it all David.” He says.

We stare at each other.

“I’m not doing this with you.” I tell him.

He luges at me and puts his arms around my shoulders.

I try to get him off.

He moves his face close to mine and I turn away.

What the hell did he think he was doing?

“Do you want her or do you want me?” He demands.

I shove him off.

Dawn stands quietly at the doorway, watching.

I glare at Nick and say nothing.

He storming out of the house.

I look at Dawn.

She doesn’t meet my gaze.

I go after Nick and this time Dawn doesn’t stop me.

I catch up to him out between the trees that block out the house.

“You going to run away again?” I demand as I follow him.

“Leave me alone.”

I grab his arm.

He shoves me off and starts to walk away again.

I grab him again and this time I don’t let him escape.

“You know you can’t run away from this Nick. You are mine.”

“And who do you belong to?” He demands.

“It’s not the way this works.”

“You can’t have me and have her. I was never good at sharing you.”

“I know.”

He always knew how to get my attention, especially when a girl started to show interest in me.

“You have to decide.”

“Do you think this is easy for me?”

“It sure as hell seems like it.”

I caress his face.

He slaps my hand away.

“Nick.”

“Sometimes I want to hate you. But I can’t and it’s my fault.”

“Nick.” I say pulling him closer.

He slaps me hard across my cheek.

He breaks out of my hold.

“I’m not that kid anymore David. I love you but I’m not going to let you drag me back to that hell hole.”

He runs away.

I stand there for a long time before walking back home.


	7. Chapter 7

I pace in front of the backdoor and I smoke my third cigarette of the day.

Nick had left his cigarettes behind.

Dawn looks on in disapproval.

“David.”

I ignore her.

“He’s been gone for a week.”

“I know that.” I snap.

I take a long drag of the cigarette.

“Do you think we should call someone?”

“Who?”

“I don’t know. The police.”

“He’ll come back.”

He always did.

“Besides, his things are all still here along with his passport and his plane ticket.”

“You and he were lovers.”

“No.”

She scoffs.

“I saw the way he....and the things he said. I’m not stupid.”

I take another drag of the cigarette.

I stare at the grass walkway.

“He always comes home.” I say to myself.

“David!”

“What do you want me to say?”

“The truth for once. Stop keeping things all to yourself. I’m your wife, I should know everything about you!”

Everything.

I smile.

“You sure about that Dawn? You want to know everything?”

“Yes I am sure.”

I look at her.

“We weren’t lovers, it implies an end to the relationship. We still are lovers. We haven’t done much but that’s only because of you. Trust me thought, the need is there. The desire is there.”

She gapes at me.

“What?”

I turn away.

“How long?”

“What are you asking me? When did we start or how long since we’ve fucked?” I ask glancing back at her.

Her face flushes.

I wanted her to feel what I was feeling in this moment.

I wanted her to sink deeper into the black tar of my emotional state.

I wanted her to drown in it.

I put out the cigarette.

“When did you start?”

“When he was fourteen.”

She sucks in a breath.

“Mother had just beaten him into a bloody mess with the end of one of father’s old belts. I wasn’t there to stop her from doing it. She kept shouting and kept beating him and beating him. She wouldn’t stop no matter how much I tried to push her away. Pushing her down the stairs worked though.” I smile.

“You….”

“It didn’t start out like this, we didn’t just decide to fuck one day. It just changed. Our relationship was never normal anyways. He would sleep in my bed because he was afraid to sleep alone.” I sigh. “After a while I got used to having him there with me. He was always so needy and it made him quiet down faster when I would caress his head or his back. Then he started needing more.”

“You took advantage of a scared little boy.”

“He knew exactly what we were doing! I didn’t force him into anything so don’t try to make me out to be a monster.”

“You are a monster! What sort of a man has sex with his brother?”

I walk closer to her.

“We only had each other! No one else could understand the shit we went through at home. Everyone knew but no one did anything about it. I was the one who protected us, I was the one who kept us safe!”

“I can’t believe this.”

“I own him Dawn. He’s mine and I am not letting him go.”

“You made him think you love him. But you resent him. You hate him.”

“Call it whatever the hell you want. I know how I feel for him.”

I push past her into the house.

“Is this why you won’t have kids with me?”

I look at her.

“He has nothing to do with that so don’t blame him.”

“I want him gone.”

“He already is gone.”

I go into Nick’s room and slam the door shut.

I sit on his bed for the rest of the afternoon.

**********************

Dawn starts crying once I start driving home.

It was annoying.

Crying wasn’t going to solve anything.

I tried ignoring her but her sniveling was grating on my nerves.

I slam the brakes.

“Stop crying. It’s my fault.”

She sniffs and wipes her eyes.

“Why didn’t you just tell me you couldn’t?”

“You kept pushing it, your little project. Why can’t we just waited for a couple of years?”

“You wanted to wait years before finally coming clean about being sterile? I was afraid it was me.”

“Well it isn’t, it’s me. Happy now?”

I try restarting the car but the damn thing won’t turn on.

I punch the steering wheel.

“Christ!” I shout.

I get out and slam the door.

I kick a tire.

Piece of shit.

Dawn gets out.

“I’m walking home.”

“Dawn.” I say hurrying after her.

She ignores me.

I grab her arm.

“Let go of me!”

She digs her fingernails into my arm.

“Ow!”

I release her.

She turns and walks away quickly.

“Fuck!”

I pound my fist on the hood of the car.

I close my eyes and take some deep breaths.

Fuck.

I sit on the hood.

God.

I shake my head.

“You’ve really done it this time.”

I sit there for a long while before standing.

I look back the way Dawn had gone.

I couldn’t even see her anymore.

She was probably already back home.

I get back into the car and try turning it on again.

It starts.

“Thank you.” I whisper.

I put the car into gear and start to make my way home.

I turn onto the gravel path that leads to the house when Nick runs out onto the road.

I slam on the breaks.

“What the hell are you doing?” I demand.

He stares at me.

There is blood on his shirt and under his nose.

“David.”

I put the car in park before getting out.

I cup his face.

His eyes are teary.

“What happened?”

He shakes his head.

“Nick. What the fuck happened? Who did this?”

“I went home. I figured you’d had enough time to cool down and I found Dawn in my room. She and Gary were….”

“What?” I demand.

“David. She and Gary were having sex.”

I step away from him.

“I’m sorry.” He says.


	8. Chapter 8

“You’re lying. Dawn wouldn’t….she’s not like that.”

“It’s true! They were both surprised to see me, especially after I yanked Gary off of her. I thought maybe he had forced her into it. She told he tried to kiss her the other night.”

“What?”

I clench my hands into fists.

He nods.

“Yeah. I told him to stay away from her but apparently he didn’t listen.”

I put a fist up to my mouth.

“She didn’t tell me anything.”

“I heard noise upstairs and it was the two of them, on the floor. I hit him, I punched the hell out of his face. I’m sure he’s going to have a hard time explaining that to Sharon.”

“I’m going to kill him.”

I get back into the car.

“David. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Get in.”

He gets into the car.

I speed the rest of the way home.

I slam on the breaks and hurry into the house.

Dawn was sitting at the dining room table.

She looks at me, her face smeared with tears.

I stare back at her.

She turns away.

“He told you.” She sniffs.

“It’s true.”

She starts sobbing.

“I’m sorry. I was so angry and Gary…”

“He’s so damn fantastic is he? I’m sure he sings like an angel.”

“David.”

“I am going to tear off his face. We’ll see how much you want to fuck him then!”

“I am ashamed at what I did. I wasn’t thinking! But you have no right to judge me.” She says standing and turning to face me.

“So this is what it’s about. Basically what you’re saying is that you can go around fucking any man you want but I can’t say anything because I have sex with my brother!”

“I don’t want to sleep with other men! I don’t even like Gary. He’s weird and he makes me feel uncomfortable.”

“I’m sure you were very uncomfortable while he had you on your back on the floor.”

“Just stop it! I made a mistake.”

I scoff.

“I am sorry David. I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have.”

“But you did.”

“Yes.”

I turn away.

“I still love you.” She says quietly.

I walk out of the house.

*********************

I started sleeping in Nick’s room.

It was the only other room with a bed.

And he gave me comfort.

We didn’t engage in anything sexual.

I just couldn’t.

Things between Dawn and I were not good.

I didn’t know what was going to happen next.

We really hadn’t spoken.

I stare up at the ceiling.

“You love her.”

I close my eyes.

“Yes.”

He sighs.

“Then you should do something before she makes a decision.”

I turn my head to look at him.

“She is good for you. I always bring out the worst in you.”

“That’s not true.”

“You and I know how to hurt each other.”

“No one knows me the way you do.”

He gives me a small smile.

“That’s because I know who you really are and not who you are trying to be.”

“Hmm.”

“But this new Davis seems happier than the old one. If you ignore all the lies.”

I chuckle.

“How else am I supposed to start over? I can’t carry my demons around and still be good.”

“That’s why you need her.”

I roll onto my side towards him.

He kisses my head and puts his arms around me.

“I love her so much but I can’t stop thinking of Gary touching her. It makes me so angry.”

He’s quiet for a moment.

“You have nothing to be jealous about. His cock is nothing impressive. And seeing his hairy ass was revolting.”

I smile.

He cards his fingers through my hair.

“I thought I was going to go blind. Probably why I beat the shit out of him.”

I shake my head.

“You finally gave him what he deserved and I missed it.”

“Be glad you did.”

I sober up.

“I would have killed him if I had been the one to….”

“Not that that son of a bitch doesn’t deserve it.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m going to be leaving soon.”

“I know.”

“If I come back, I want to find you and Dawn still here. Hopefully the house will be less crappy and luckily she will forgive me for loving you.”

“She will. She’s a good woman with a kind heart.”

“That she is.”

*********************

“Dawn.”

She looks at me.

“I’m sorry.”

Her eyes tear up.

“I am so sorry for what I did.” She says.

“I know.”

“Whatever you have done does not give me permission to be unfaithful. This is not the kind of woman I am, it’s not who I want to be.”

I nod.

“I understand.”

“I feel so ashamed and Nick walking in was horrifying.”

“Nick likes you. And he wants us to be happy.”

“I wanted him to see that I was good to you, that I loved you and I messed it all up.”

“No. I was the one who made everything turn to shit. I should have told you from the beginning that I couldn’t have children. I just didn’t want you to look at me differently or to love me any less.”

“I wouldn’t have.”

“I want to make this work Dawn. I don’t want to lose you.”

She hugs me.

I tighten my arms around her.

“I’ve missed you.” I say.

She sniffs against my shoulder.

“I have missed you too.”

I kiss her head.

She releases me after a moment.

She wipes her eyes.

“What about Nick?”

I turn my head to look out the kitchen window at my brother.

“I can’t give him up.” I look back at her. “He is important to me. He was always separate from you, from how I felt for you. He still is.”

“I don’t understand the relationship you have with him.”

“I know and I don’t expect you to. But he’s leaving soon. You won’t have to worry about it anymore.”

She nods.

I hug her again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex ahead.

There is a knock on the door to my office.

“Come in.” I call.

The door opens but I don’t look up from the papers I was grading.

Probably another student who wanted to talk about their paper.

“So.”

I look up.

Nick closes the door and walks in, admiring the bookshelves.

“Nick.” I say.

“Fancy.” He smiles. “And look, you have you degree up on the wall.” He says pointing.

I stand.

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you at work. I thought you’d be wearing spectacles and an old man sweater with patches at the elbows.”

I smile.

“Why would you even think that? You’ve seen me after work.”

“Well yeah but I wanted to get the whole vibe of Professor Johnson.”

I walk around my desk to the front.

“And?” I say holding my arms out towards my sides.

“Still good looking.” He shrugs. “I’d shag you.”

I chuckle.

“You have. So your input might be bias.”

He shrugs.

He runs his fingers over the edge of the bookshelf.

I stare at him.

He puts his hands in the pocket of his jeans.

I walk around to the side of my desk.

“We haven’t really had a lot of time alone since you and Dawn reconciled. Not that I’m not happy about that.” He says looking at me.

I nod.

He walks closer.

“I just wanted to spend some time with you. Are you free for lunch?”

“You buying?”

“I was going to tell you the same thing.” He smiles.

I hook my fingers around the belt loops of his jeans and pull him against me.

“Why don’t I give you a tour of the office first?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

I kiss him.

He puts his arms around me.

I turn us so that his back is towards my desk.

I undo his jeans and push them down with his pants.

He gasps as I close my hand around his cock.

I begin to slide my hand up and down in a lazy motion.

“How much time do you have?” He asks breathlessly.

“Enough.”

I kiss him again, my tongue battling against his.

I push him onto the desk.

I crouch to remove his shoes.

I pull off his jeans and his pants before pushing his legs further apart.

I hook one of his legs over my shoulder and I lean in to bite the inside of his thigh.

He moans.

I lick a path up to his balls.

I tease them with my tongue before sucking up his shaft.

He grasps my shoulder.

I take his cock in my mouth.

It had been a long time since I’d done this.

I relax my jaw as I slide my mouth down his cock.

“Oh David. Yes.” He moans.

I make sure to swallow when the head of his cock hits the back of my throat.

He starts to fuck my mouth.

I hold down his hips.

He groans.

“Please.”

I move my mouth off of him and tease his head with my tongue.

I stand and push at his chest so that he’s lying on his back.

I coat my fingers with saliva before taking his cock in my mouth again.

I tease his hole with one of my fingers until he relaxes enough for me to push it in.

I curl my finger and brush it against his prostate.

“I’m going to come.” He warns.

I pull off of him, leaving only the head of his cock in my mouth.

I push another finger into him and stretch him open.

He moans loudly.

“Fuck.” He groans. “David.”

“It’s alright.” I say before taking the head of his cock in my mouth again.

He comes in my mouth.

I swallow it down.

He pushes at my shoulder.

I take my mouth off of him.

He looks up at me, his eyes heavy lidded and his face flushed.

I wipe my mouth.

I push three fingers into him.

He winces.

I pull my fingers out and reach into my desk for some lotion.

I coat my fingers before pushing them back inside of him.

“I need you.” He says.

I make sure he is ready before I coat my cock with lotion and position myself against his hole.

I hold his thighs open with my hands as I push into him.

He gasps.

I slide into him slowly.

I didn’t want to hurt him.

I set a slow pace, giving him time to get used to having me inside of him.

His cock starts to fill again with every brush I make against his prostate.

Soon he’s moaning and moving his hips in time with my rhythm.

I hold onto his hips and start to fuck him in earnest.

He cries out.

“Quiet.” I tell him.

“I can’t help it. Feels so good.” He moans.

I bite my lip.

I grab his hips and pull him closer.

He moans.

I pant.

He was made to ride my cock.

He holds on to the edges of the desk as I pound into him.

“Come inside of me.” He gasps.

I look at him.

He stares back, his mouth wet and his lips swollen from my kisses.

He clenches around me.

I bite the inside of my bicep as I come.

He cries out as he spills all over his chest.

I lean over him and kiss him.

He caresses his hands down my arms.

I stand and pull slowly out of him.

He winces as he straightens his legs.

I grab some tissues and hand them to him.

He wipes himself down while I redress myself.

He sits up slowly.

I put a hand on the back of his neck and kiss him slowly, savoring the feel of his mouth against mine.

I touch my forehead to his.

“How long will you be gone?”

He shrugs.

“I only have three more years on my tour but who knows. War doesn’t stop just cause it’s time for me to come home.”

I kiss his forehead before moving away.

He gets off the desk.

I sit in my chair and watch him pull on his pants and jeans.

“We’ll have a barbecue for you on Saturday.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

He looks at me.

“Alright.”

“Good.”

“I hear you make a delicious cake.”

I smile.

“Those are the rumors.”

“Dawn must be happy I’m leaving.”

I pull him down to sit on my lap.

I nuzzle his neck.

“I will miss you.” I say quietly.

“And that’s all that matters.”

He cards his fingers through my hair and I rest my head against his shoulder.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. Thank you for reading.

I flip the chicken on the grill.

Nick brings out the plates and napkins.

I smile at him.

“Hello!” Sharon says coming down the path.

I look at Gary coming up behind her, their kid in his arms.

I press my lips together and look at Dawn.

She stars back at me, her eyes wide.

Another friend of Dawn’s from work arrives with her husband and kids.

Nick goes inside the house.

Dawn greets Sharon and her friend.

I watch Gary smile at my wife as he leans in to hug her, his hand caressing her back.

I drop the tongs on the table.

Gary looks at me.

Nick comes back out and hands me a beer.

Gary comes over.

He glances at Nick before looking at me.

He smiles and holds out his hand.

“David.” He says.

I look at his outstretched hand before taking a drink of my beer.

He puts his hand down.

“So how you been?” Gary asks.

Nick shifts beside me.

“Fine. How have you been?”

“Good, good. Things at home and at the shop are fine.”

“Hmm.”

“I am so glad you’re better now Gary.” Nick says.

Gary glares at him before looking back at me.

“Listen David, can I talk to you?”

“Sure.”

“In private?”

I glance at Dawn.

She looks away.

“Be a love and check on the chicken will you?” I ask Nick.

He nods.

I follow Gary.

“Uhm. Don’t know if you heard but Nick and I got into it the other day.”

“Really?” I say feigning ignorance.

“Yeah. He’s not all there is he? He just attacked me, out of nowhere.”

“Where was this?”

“I came by to ask Dawn about choir practice the other day.”

Is that what it was? Choir practice?

I snort.

He narrows his eyes at me.

“Something funny?” He asks.

“Not at all. Dawn didn’t tell me you had been by.”

His gaze skids away.

“Look. I know he’s your brother. But I don’t trust him and you should be careful about leaving your wife alone with him all the time. I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to hurt her or force her into anything.”

“Thank you for your concern.” I say walking away.

I grab the tongs from Nick.

“What did he want?”

“To tell me that you’re a dangerous man.”

Nick snorts.

I smile at him.

“Chicken is done.” I tell Dawn.

She nods and rounds everyone up.

I pull the chicken from the grill and place it on the tray Nick was holding.

I place it on the picnic table.

Everyone gathers around and takes a seat.

Nick shoves Gary aside as he goes to sit next to Dawn.

Dawn looks uncomfortable and Sharon looks confused.

Nick looks at me over Dawn’s head.

I give him a small nod.

After lunch, Dawn brings out Nick’s cake.

He cuts it up and passes out the pieces.

“When are you leaving?” Sharon asks Nick.

“Monday.” Nick says.

“I think we can all be glad for that.” Gary says with a laugh.

I clench my hand around my fork.

Dawn puts a hand on my thigh and makes conversation with Sharon and her other friend.

“Say hello to the Taliban for me.” Gary says smirking.

Nick smashes his piece of cake in Gary’s face.

Gary stands up and starts shouting profanity at Nick before taking a swing at him.

Nick jumps up from the table and starts shouting back at Gary.

Our other guests stand and move away.

Nick shoves Gary onto the grass and starts punching him.

Dawn tries to stop them from fighting.

“Don’t.” I say grabbing her back.

She looks at me.

“You have to do something.” She says.

Sharon is shouting at Nick to stop.

The kids start freaking out.

Fucking hell.

I grab Nick around the waist and pull him off Gary.

“I am pressing charges.” Gary threatens as he stands.

“Try it.” Nick tells him.

Sharon comes over and slaps Nick.

Nick shoves her away.

“You bastard!” Sharon shouts at him.

“Shut up Sharon.” I tell her. “You tart.”

“Don’t speak to my wife that way.” Gary tells me.

“Fuck off Gary.”

He lunges at me.

I push Nick to a side and I shove Gary.

He falls on his ass.

“I am not my brother and you know I always did enjoy putting you in your place.”

“You think you’re so goddamn good don’t you?” 

“Not good, just better than you.”

He stands. 

“Not as good as you think. I fucked your wife.”

Sharon gasps.

I punch Gary in the throat.

He doubles over, gasping for breath.

“If I ever see you again, I will kill you.” I tell him. “And you know I will.”

Sharon moves to help her husband.

I turn to look at Dawn.

She walks into the house.

I look back at Nick.

He claps my shoulder before turning to thank everyone for coming.

*******************

I wait by Dawn’s bedside.

I rest my head against the mattress.

“David?” She asks confused.

I raise my head to look at her.

“Hey. How do you feel?”

“What happened?”

“You had a miscarriage.”

She closes her eyes.

“I wanted to tell you.” She says quietly.

There was no point now was there?

“The doctors tried to save it but there was nothing they could do.”

She puts a hand to her face.

“Dawn.”

She starts crying.

“I want to give you a child. I want you to be happy. But we both know I can’t.” I say.

She nods.

“I asked Nick to donate some of his sperm.”

She looks at me.

“He filed as an anonymous donor and he won’t ask for any parental rights. The doctors say that in a few months we can try fertilizing one of your eggs with my brother’s sperm.” I take her hand in mine. “The child will be ours Dawn. It will be a part of me.”

She curls my fingers against mine.

She nods.

“Okay.”

I kiss her fingers.

********************

I bounce little Ben.

Dawn smiles down at us.

I kiss my sons head.

“I love you.” I tell her.

“I love you.”

I look back at my son.

He smiles at me.

We spend the day having a picnic and enjoying our family time.

We walk back home in time for supper.

I stop as I spot the figure sitting on the porch.

He stands as we approach.

I hold my son tighter.

Dawn looks at me before going to hug Nick.

Nick hugs her back.

I walk closer.

“Surprise.” He says. “They finally decided they’d had enough of me.”

I smile at him.

"I thought you had three years left?" Dawn asks.

Nick looks at her.

"Yeah. But I started having the same problems I was having here and I spoke with my superior. They sent me back to London and I was evaluated by a psychologist and here I am."

"I am glad you're going to get help. Wouldn't want anything to happen to you out there." Dawn says patting Nick's cheek.

Nick smiles at her.

Ben shifts against me. 

Nick glances at my son.

“This is Ben.” I tell him.

“Ben.” He comes around to look at my son. “He’s a handsome fellow.”

I smile at Dawn.

“Hi Ben. I’m your Uncle Nick.”

“I’ll go get us something to drink.” Dawn says. “And change Ben.”

I hand her our son.

She goes inside the house.

“How long will you be staying here?”

“Permanently actually. I’m tearing down the old farm and building a house.”

I stare at him.

He smiles at me.

“Dawn gave me the idea.”

I glance back towards the house.

“Need help?” I ask after a moment.

“Like you know how to do any construction.”

I laugh.

“Thanks true.”

I pull him into my arms.

“It’s so good to see you.”

He tightens his arms around me.

“Now you’ll never be rid of me.” He says.

I cup his face.

“I never wanted to.”

I press my lips against his.

“Good. Cause I’m not leaving.”

I kiss his head before leading him inside the house.

“Your old room is still available.”

“Great.”

I look at Dawn who is in the kitchen.

She looks at me.

I smile at her before leading my brother up to his room.

 

The End.


End file.
